my LA bucket list

some matters I have to settle

A chapter of my life is closing (or maybe I’m placing a bookmark, so that I may return to this spot later, who knows) and it seems like I’m leaving Los Angeles. I return to a piece of yogic advice: to be cognizant of how you exit a pose. Do you want to end on a note of pain, over-exertion, frustration? Or, do you want to leave the pose gracefully, thankfully? Think about it. Sometimes you have a choice.

I’m finding myself in another period of life where two contradictory things are true at once. I feel I am both at an insane high point, surrounded by love, activity, leisure time and the fundamental things necessary for the good life — and I am in the fucking trenches. This is a pattern. Life tends to be this way, which is why Dickens went so hard with the first line of a Tale of Two Cities (~ "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.")

So, I don’t want to leave, really. And I do desperately want to go.

The only thing I can do from where I stand is make sure I’m satisfied with how I’m leaving this place. That means I’ve gotta burn like 20 bridges and go visit like 20 restaurants, and then I can dip. Jk. As I tweeted once:

wow! every moment is impermanent. better take it all in.

And, as someone once said on Tumblr (which I wish I would remember more when I’m very sad/ depressed):

As I’m trying to be ~*~intentional~*~ about my last few months here, I made a list of things I love about LA, so I can do them all one last time as a resident of California. I’d like to share them with you. And if you’re ever in LA having some skewers at Dan Sung Sa on my recommendation, think a little about me, because I’m probably somewhere else in the world wishing I was also having skewers at Dan Sung Sa. Here’s the start of my list.

1. Get my hair cut by Dustin at Spoke and Weal

I met Dustin on salonapprentice.com (major tip, if you’re broke in a city and still want like $300 blonde highlights for not $300) and have never had a need for another stylist. Dustin is the rare type who will sit and absorb whatever reference images you’ve brought it, and will always be frank and honest with you if something isn’t going to work with your hair type or cowlicks or whatever — and if that’s the case, he always has ideas, work-arounds and alternatives. He pays attention to the small details. Like, Dustin has been “working on” the front pieces of my hair for about a year now, trying to recover some of the volume/ length I lost when I got a pandemic shag that sort of fucked my shit up (pre-Dustin).

Dustin once gave me a haircut that was so beautiful and so perfect, women would stop me and asked me who does my hair. I’ve never had this happen before. I am constantly doling out his number.

He makes music under the moniker Cruel Kiss, too. It’s just kind of great when the people you interact with on a regular basis are artists. I’m always so excited to catch up with him and I always leave looking pretty great, so really, I’m rich, I’m winning, I’m blessed and highly favored.

2. Swim at the West Hollywood Aquatic Center

I’ve been gatekeeping this all summer, lmao, and I’m so sorry if you’re mad I’m not gatekeeping anymore, but after all, it’s a public pool.

This is a brand new lap pool in Hollywood. It’s on a roof outdoors, it’s gorgeous, it’s super clean, and you will not believe that it’s literally $3 a visit when you buy a pass. The high that I was riding the first time I went with my friend Nish and we swam to the point of exhaustion? Incredible. Unbelievable.

I just really love swimming. This pool makes me very, very happy.

3. Get a pastrami sandwich at Canter’s

Listen, I’m not going to get into whether Canter’s is over or underrated. This place is definitely haunted. After I ordered a hot corned beef panini with coleslaw and Russian dressing, I glanced around the diner and saw a man who looked like THIS in a green and white striped collared shirt:

Now, I get it, the 70s are back in LA in a major way. But it’s more of the peace love rocker look. NOT “side character playing a suspicious alcoholic in an episode of Columbo.” I just very much have the feeling we are either in the midst of a time traveler or a 70s ghost who loves bad diner coffee as much as I do.

Man I love Canter’s.

Nish and I are attempting to make a habit out of swimming after work, and then getting beers at Kibitz Room after swimming, but today the vibes at the Kibitz Room were *especially whack.* That’s saying a lot, because we go specifically for the whack vibes. Seems about right, though. Good note.

— C