the jeans master post
the blue jean committee is here
The day I found my favorite pair of jeans, I unknowingly activated some baffling law of the universe. That is, I swore off wearing jeans.
I had spent all day in my retail job wearing a pair of vintage Levi 501’s. I had bought them at a vintage store in Berlin, they had been tailored before me, and these were supposed to be the jeans that ended my longing for The Perfect Pair, because they technically checked off all the requirements. They were real, cotton denim, after all, and they hit my ankle where they were supposed to. They were men’s jeans. They were fitted properly. Alexa Chung would’ve loved them on the rack. Yet I’d catch a glance of myself in the mirror and I did not feel very French Paris Jane Birkin James Dean classic timeless chic. I felt squat. Like there was too much fabric on me. The pants enhanced one feature… my lower belly. That day I had seen too much of myself in the window’s reflection. It had taken me too goddamn long, 10 years if I’m to estimate, to even find these jeans - which were supposed to be Good Jeans - and they just weren’t working. Maybe the problem wasn’t me and maybe it was, after all, the jeans. I felt, for a brief moment, duped. Jeans perhaps are not the universal staple we tout them to be. There was a reason I felt like I looked like Jerry Seinfeld in the dressing room, trying on pair after pair, alternating between losing my sense of identity and giving myself turbo-wedgies like I was both the bully and the geek. Maybe this wasn’t a style I was meant to wear.
As soon as I wrote them off completely, I did go peak into a crossroads trading, and the first thing I saw was a pair of jeans, folded, with new tags, and when I tried them on, they fit miraculously. I still have them today and they are by and far, my favorite pair of jeans. I had summoned them. The way you summon a spontaneous invite to a party by making yourself the most beautiful dinner, or the way you summon your period by wearing all white: the universe works this way because it has a sense of humor.
The universe also works on the honor system. As much as one takes, one has to give. So in order to share my good fortune (and to answer a DM - seriously, if there is a topic you’d like me to approach, it’s very easy to send me a DM) I wanted to break down what makes a jean “good,” a few other types of “good” jeans, and my advice about what to look for/ where to find them.
Why my favorite jeans work
A couple things are happening here. I’ve ordered them in terms of importance:
Rise
The most flattering rise in my opinion hits your belly button. This is going to differ person to person. I have a relatively balanced torso: leg ratio (I think). People with longer torsos can afford a higher rise, and people with shorter torsos look better in a lower rise. Stylish people will often talk about balancing your proportions, and this is what caused a ton of rabble around the kibbe system in a way that confused people more than helped them. Simply: use your eye, trust your gut, experiment. In my experience this is the aspect of a jean where people get really comfortable and bogged down, and they don’t want to change - so, experiment!
You’re also going to want to make sure there’s enough room in your rise but not too much. My main gripe with my 501’s is that they had too much room here, creating a blousony FUPA effect. Too tight is unflattering as well.
You can play with pant rise for different effects. Low rise always looks a little more Kate Moss rock and roll. High rise is a little more refined.
Waist/ Seat
This is usually what most people focus on and it’s because it’s the most tricky. It is pretty hard to find jeans with the right waist and seat for every single person because all of our bodies are different. I’ll note that it’s much easier to tailor the waist to fit you than it is the seat, and you can always bring the waist in, so focus on the seat. Is there enough room for the junk in your trunk? Really? Do a squat.
IMO, It’s a good thing that women’s sizes *aren’t* standardized. If measurements were standardized across all brands you’d have an even harder time finding pants that fit you - different manufacturing sizing/ standards means more variety.
Leg
These jeans are a middle ground between a true bootcut and a wide leg. I feel restricted when my jeans are all hugged up on my curves, and that’s not the look I’m going for. These reveal enough shape around my seat/ thigh, but the overall effect is one seamlessly long, straight leg.
I will say some millennials have the wrong idea about leg fit because they were indoctrinated in the church of the skinny jean. Allow a little extra fabric, it’s 100p more flattering, even if your brain is trained to recognize a tight fit as neutral/ classic/ non-style.
Length
I like jeans that just brush the tops of my shoes. It gives you length and leggy legs. Any longer and you’re in hippie free spirit territory. Any shorter, and it can disrupt the line of your outfit and make you look shorter. Some people really work a culotte, though, and there are some stylistic visual tricks you can use to keep the lines of your outfit long (see Amy Smilovic’s posts on The Skin Sandwich).
Fabric
I have a preference for real and stiff denim. It feels more expensive, it ages nicely and over time will fit to your body and your life. Real denim is just going to lay nicely. These, however, do have a bit of stretch - as do a few of my other favorite pairs.
In truth, I just straight up do not wash my jeans, unless I really have to, because I don’t want them to stretch. I’ll spot treat if there’s a spill, but jeans just really do not get that dirty.
Wash
My favorites are an unassuming true blue, so they’re more versatile than their dark wash and light wash counterparts. This is another reason to stay away from stretchy fabrics. The wash on mostly denim jeans is just a bit nicer.
Adornments/ Pockets
My style is very Vintage Gap Americana Summer at the Lake, so I personally don’t even like the pocket embellishments, studs or heavy stitching you find on Abercrombie and Hollister jeans - which are by all means pretty basic, standard jeans, and actually an okay place to start if you’re experimenting with fit.
Adornments are really the part that dates or types a jean. Pleats are a very specific look. So are the pockets on Wrangler’s. This is all relative and depends on your taste. Avina, for instance, looks super cool in True Religion jeans.
Pockets are going to change how your butt looks, simple as, which is why their placement/ size is also important. See how a big pocket makes you feel, see how a smaller pocket makes you feel.
My shopping advice
Start at a curated vintage store. Go to more than one. It’s not hard these days to find a dedicated store that deals in denim, but these will likely specialize in Levi’s and Wrangler’s, which, although tried and true, may not be the perfect jean for you. Once you have a perfect pair, you will be able to venture into thrift stores and the mall with a sense of what you’re looking for. Cream of the crop first.
When you’re just getting a feel for what could be your perfect jean, try on anything and everything. Be smart about it though. Like, don’t go try on the low waist skinny black jeans if you’re going for Cindy Crawford. Experiment a little. Maybe you’ll find what you’ve needed is acid wash tapered jeans this whole time, and all you needed was to see them on you.
On that note, look at inspiration pics. Try to pay attention to what’s going when you see someone who looks great in a pair of jeans. Seat, length, adornments, fit. Sometimes, it might just be because they have really great cheek bones, which is why I can’t online shop.
Where the pants drape is also key. A big part of finding a Jean That Fits Good is working with your body - and what hangs loose on one person may be very tight on you, or vice versa. It might just mean you have to look for a slightly different style for a similar effect. A wider calf leg can balance out a thicker thigh, for instance, and give you a more straight-leg look.
Make sure you’re really trying them on. Lift your knee up, do a squat, turn around, take pictures.
Look for puckering, creasing, anything that feels too tight, too loose. Be realistic about what you’ll get tailored and what can be changed. Even if you love the wash or the brand, the most important thing behind a great pair of jeans is the fit.
Brands to look for: Calvin Klein, Gap, Helmut Lang, American Apparel, 7 for all Mankind, G-Star Raw, Mother, Rag & Bone
I have been continually disappointed by jeans that have been regaled as “the best” like the Levi Wedgie and whatever the fuck is going on at Madewell. One of my favorite pairs of jeans cost me $1 and they’re old Banana Republic.
Accept that it’s not easy to find good jeans. It’s a very trial and error, long process. You may find a pair that you like initially that then sour on you. Your body is going to change. Your tastes are going to change! Make note of what’s working and what’s not, and then, do something different.